My 'Sticky and Sweet' tour: part 1

So I am not going to the Madonna show this year. Sure I am bitter, although have no real interest to see the new album performed, I am however bitter that she finally decides to perform the hard rock version of 'Borderline' that I have been dreaming of for years!

Bitch.

It got me thinking about how I would do the tour if I were tour director.

(you see I live in my head a lot.....in there Madonna and I are friends. After she read my blog and decided to grant me an interview we became inseparable. Because of this friendship and my influence she has taken acting back up and is getting great notices for a supporting role in a film I wrote staring Toni Collette. So it is only logical that she would ask me to be her tour director, I mean Christ! I am over seeing production of her new album. We are taking it into a new direction, experimenting with world music in the instrumentation, but keeping a more 'electro' sound)

Anywho....Picture this.

The Tour!

Opening video of Madonna's early New York years, re-edited to the beat of 'Give it 2 Me'. Over the top of this you hear her voice from begining of her first video collection:
"I went to New York. I had a dream. I wanted to be a big star. I didn’t know anybody. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing. I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to make people happy. I wanted to be famous. I wanted everybody to love me. I wanted to be a star. I worked really hard and my dream came true.".
Dancers are dressed very New York early 80's and performing acrobatics on the floor and on wires. It looks like a circus. At the back of the stage on top of a moving subway car comes Madonna in fedora, tuxedo trousers, black bustier and cropped blue leather bolero jacket with trim. She launches into an energetic retro sounding version of 'Give it 2 Me', complete with age defying dance moves keeping toe to toe with her dancers.
Off come the jacket and into the audience goes the hat. We hear the familiar "I know you've been waiting.....yeah" as a urban version of 'Everybody' is belted out. the crowd go wild and the dancers and Madonna bump and grind across the stage.
When she is done to takes a minute and a drink of water. She asks the audience how they are doing before making a joke about how old she is.
Then the stage opens up to reveal disco balls, mirror tiles and flashing coloured lights, evoking Studio 54. Madonna slips on a fur coat and quips to the audience "don't worry, it's fake" before launching into 'The Beat Goes on". She is joined by two male dancers in a tightly choreographed routine reminiscent of disco's hay-day.

She casts off the dancers and looks out to the audience and asks all the women to scream before dedicating a stomping remix of 'Express Yourself' mixed with the beat of 'We are Family' to them. Madonna is alone on stage for most of this and dances, shimmies and spins down the catwalk, before being joined by the troop of female dancers at the end for a routine reminiscent of her version of this song from 'The Girlie Show'.

The stage goes dark for a moment and you hear Madonna's voice "Everybody goes to Hollywood".
The lights come back up and the disco set is replaced with stark black and Madonna sings 'Hollywood' while walking along the edge of the stage interacting with the crowd. On the giant screens behind are images from tabloids of young actresses/singers who have hit hard times with drugs, alcohol or depression. The version of 'Hollywood' is more metal guitar driven with a dark pumping beat than what has been heard before. Madonna leaves the stage at the end of the song just as the guitar quietens down and proceeds into 'Like it or Not' from 'Confessions on a Dance Floor'. This is a video montage of the various tabloid stories of Madonna throughout her career. The version of the song, like 'Hollywood' is more edgy and angry sounding with an electric guitar and she has even re-recorded the vocals to fit the sound.