Saturday, 6 September 2008

My 'Sticky and Sweet' tour: part 1

So I am not going to the Madonna show this year. Sure I am bitter, although have no real interest to see the new album performed, I am however bitter that she finally decides to perform the hard rock version of 'Borderline' that I have been dreaming of for years!


It got me thinking about how I would do the tour if I were tour director.

(you see I live in my head a there Madonna and I are friends. After she read my blog and decided to grant me an interview we became inseparable. Because of this friendship and my influence she has taken acting back up and is getting great notices for a supporting role in a film I wrote staring Toni Collette. So it is only logical that she would ask me to be her tour director, I mean Christ! I am over seeing production of her new album. We are taking it into a new direction, experimenting with world music in the instrumentation, but keeping a more 'electro' sound)

Anywho....Picture this.

The Tour!

Opening video of Madonna's early New York years, re-edited to the beat of 'Give it 2 Me'. Over the top of this you hear her voice from begining of her first video collection:
"I went to New York. I had a dream. I wanted to be a big star. I didn’t know anybody. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing. I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to make people happy. I wanted to be famous. I wanted everybody to love me. I wanted to be a star. I worked really hard and my dream came true.".
Dancers are dressed very New York early 80's and performing acrobatics on the floor and on wires. It looks like a circus. At the back of the stage on top of a moving subway car comes Madonna in fedora, tuxedo trousers, black bustier and cropped blue leather bolero jacket with trim. She launches into an energetic retro sounding version of 'Give it 2 Me', complete with age defying dance moves keeping toe to toe with her dancers.
Off come the jacket and into the audience goes the hat. We hear the familiar "I know you've been waiting.....yeah" as a urban version of 'Everybody' is belted out. the crowd go wild and the dancers and Madonna bump and grind across the stage.
When she is done to takes a minute and a drink of water. She asks the audience how they are doing before making a joke about how old she is.
Then the stage opens up to reveal disco balls, mirror tiles and flashing coloured lights, evoking Studio 54. Madonna slips on a fur coat and quips to the audience "don't worry, it's fake" before launching into 'The Beat Goes on". She is joined by two male dancers in a tightly choreographed routine reminiscent of disco's hay-day.

She casts off the dancers and looks out to the audience and asks all the women to scream before dedicating a stomping remix of 'Express Yourself' mixed with the beat of 'We are Family' to them. Madonna is alone on stage for most of this and dances, shimmies and spins down the catwalk, before being joined by the troop of female dancers at the end for a routine reminiscent of her version of this song from 'The Girlie Show'.

The stage goes dark for a moment and you hear Madonna's voice "Everybody goes to Hollywood".
The lights come back up and the disco set is replaced with stark black and Madonna sings 'Hollywood' while walking along the edge of the stage interacting with the crowd. On the giant screens behind are images from tabloids of young actresses/singers who have hit hard times with drugs, alcohol or depression. The version of 'Hollywood' is more metal guitar driven with a dark pumping beat than what has been heard before. Madonna leaves the stage at the end of the song just as the guitar quietens down and proceeds into 'Like it or Not' from 'Confessions on a Dance Floor'. This is a video montage of the various tabloid stories of Madonna throughout her career. The version of the song, like 'Hollywood' is more edgy and angry sounding with an electric guitar and she has even re-recorded the vocals to fit the sound.

Friday, 5 September 2008


Ok, so I had a slight little eye rolling moment when I heard that Hollywood was going to be making a film out of the life of the Notorious B.I.G.. Not before you send hate posts, it was not because I do not think his story is cinema worthy, it is just I though “Oh great another bio-pic”.

That was until I saw that one of my all time favourite, and under used actors has been cast as Voletta Wallace. I get the feeling, if the role is big enough, Angela Bassett is going to hit this one out of the park.

'Coco Avant Chanel'

So I was reading months and months ago about the Coco Chanel movie staring Audrey Tautou as the famous influential designer (her suits never go out of style).
Now it seems that Warners have sweeped in, in a vintage classic gown, to finance and co-produce the film.

The film will be looking at Coco's early life (what a great name), hence the title (translation for those of you who slept in French class 'Coco Avant Chanel' translates as 'Coco Before Chanel')

Did you know that sunbathing was never popular in Europe until Coco came back from holiday with a golden tan? Fashion and skin cancer....her legacy it so vast!

Well apparently the film will begin filming in just two weeks and be released next year. I hope to Madonna that Warner does not insist the film be filmed in English just to widen the audience. It could happen, but then again foreign films are not suffering as much at the box office as they used to. A foreign language film reaching £10 million is more common place than it was 10 years ago.

So far, in the production pics that have been leaked, Tautou looks a fierce tranny hot mess.

Thursday, 4 September 2008

"Winged Creatures" trailer

Oh goody. A multi cast multi story drama. And they say Hollywood is running out of ideas. (notice how poor Jennifer Hudson gets no lines in the trailer - tragic fore-shadowing or surprise attack?)

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

“Taking Woodstock”

Anything Ang Lee does I get excited. The man is a genius. Even this film, which is not something that I am overly interested in subject matter wise, is getting me all excited, not least because the wonderful and Oscar-less Imelda Staunton in it.

“Oh please Ang give her a role big enough to be considered a supporting actor. PLEASE!!”

I am not asking much.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Lady Sovereign

She is only 5 inches tall, but of attitude.

This track is yonks old, but I have been listening it lately and it just brings a smile to my face.

"Pride and Glory" Trailer

Ok so Ed Norton is brilliant. Colin Farrell has great potential. And this looks like it could be a condensed version of 'The Wire' which is not bad thing at all. However why oh why does a gritty cop drama need to rely of operatic music with a huge crescendo to sell it as a trailer. All I needed to hear was the set up of the family, the details of the murders and then the witness saying "It was a cop" to spark my interest. These mini movies need to stop. Like 'The Onion' said:

Monday, 1 September 2008

"American Teen" trailer

This looks really really good. could be the 'Juno' of this year.


You know there are those actors you love but still know when they deliver a bad performance.

I feel that way about Brenda Blethyn. She is one of those actresses that can deliver amazing performances ('Secrets and Lies') and then completely irritate the hell out of you like nails down a black board in parrot school ('Pride and Prejudice', 'Little Voice').
But I still love her.

After her small but effective role in 'Atonement' last year I have been thinking about how she needs to have another role that makes us sit up and notice. Then I went to the movie lovers bible (IMDB) and saw she has a film coming out next year called 'London River'.
It is directed by Cannes and Cesar inner and two time Golden Bear nominee Rachid Bouchareb. The film focuses on the 2005 London terrorist attacks and how two strangers meet while searching for their missing children in London.
It is bound to be emotional and compelling, but I am most curious to see how Blethyn handles the character. For an actress who can too easily go into characture, it will be interesting to see if she reigns it in.

Sunday, 31 August 2008

Something Borrowed

Is a book. More importantly it is a chick lit book. The plotline, by the way, revolves around a Manhattan attorney, Rachel, whose best friend, Darcy, has it all: money, good looks and a hunky fiancé called Rex. (really...fiancé not spaniel)
But when Rachel embarks on an affair with Dex, their friendship is put to the test. And then some.

Oh my! Saucy!

Then the news that Hillary Swank has bought the rights with the option to star comes out and there is a moan from movie audiences everywhere.

I take it she is playing Rachel, and that seems like a very unsympathetic character, so well done for stretching. Still though, Hillary Swank and chick lit??? just seems so wrong, like Renee Zellweger playing a black farm hand in a literary civil war drama.

The casting of Darcy will be a breeze as she is the one who is done wrong. They could cast Maleficent and she would still hold my sympathies.