Tuesday 6 January 2009

Note to J.J. Abrams


Dear J.J.

I loved ‘Cloverfield’ when I saw it in the cinema.
I even over looked the annoying and terrible performance of T.J. Miller.

However, with a second viewing on DVD it is a different matter. His 'performance', aside from being completely inappropriate, grates like rusty nails down a black board.
Please, please release a version of the film without his performance, or at least 90% of it cut out.
I mean seriously, who in their right mind would make jokes during a time like that?
I can understand nervous jokes and the such but he was acting like it was a day out at Disney Land. A MONSTER IS EATING YOUR FRIENDS AND DESTROYING YOUR CITY!!! Act appropriately.

As annoying as Heather in The Blair Witch Project was, you understood her motives (come on, we all know a person just like her). But Hud – my God I would have killed him myself.
No wonder the creature spat him out.

I know I am not the target audience for a big ole studio disaster film (being as I am more intelligent than a gnat) but let me tell you I how would be acting should I be unfortunate enough to witness such a disaster.
I would be terrified.
I would grab hold of my loved ones' by the hand and run like Forrest.
If I had a camera on my possession I may film a little, but the overall need for survival would outrank the need for documentation (unless I was a film maker of course....then I could understand - like I did with 'Blair Witch' Heather).
If I had witnessed the deaths of friends, I would not be making any type of joke. Sure some people react differently, and there may be some hysterical laughter on my part, but not joking, especially amongst all that death.

Any way, I digress.

J.J., please re-release the DVD without him in it (or minimally in it) and you will have a near perfect movie.

Thanks

Michael

2 comments:

Dame James said...

Amen! The film absolutely terrified me and would have gotten a higher grade from me had it not been for that stupid, annoying guy who just. kept. talking. Argh, shut up already and get eaten by a monster.

Anonymous said...

Michael, you know I hated this film from the moment it started. It might be because it made me physically sick ... ask Lee . But I have to say if there was an Oscar for an amazing recovery it goes to the girl who was impailed on a steel rod and then when pulled off was able to sprint down the street, no bleeding, no pain, not even the odd wince. It's a miracle !